Charlene is currently trying her best to look on the brighter side of life everyday, even when the clouds seem to roll by. Trying to make the best out of every situation, swallow lotsa pride and learn to move on in all situations.
she will believe in herself and her ability. And she doesn't need external things to make her happy.
School is a privilege and driving is fun.
And today she says,
"A good day to one and all. Good days are a rareity. so cherish them when they do roll by. The photos speak of a happy time of a distant past. now a days, its just happy moments as and when but never a truely happy time.
Happiness is hard to find.
What's the secret ingredient? when you find it, be careful with it."
I'm back from 2 nights stay in Pulai Springs resort, JB. And i realized what i miss most about that place is.. a beautiful toilet. yea. i miss the toilet. The 2 days away from home was very relaxing for the whole family and we were all a lil screw loose, ESP the couple. Gosh my sister was laughing so crazily at Mr Sng at a lot of intervals and she kept relaying the stories to me and then she'll be EVEN more amused and Mr Sng will just be quite embarrassed. Heh. my sis found someone else to entertain her. Now i have one role less. no need to be 'her entertainer' anymore just 'driver' now.
We watched Friends! (thanks for the loan justin), ate seafood at kukup (1 hr's drive away) and i'm glad i ordered black pepper crab. i am still sorta in a birthday mood cos the dinner felt like the b'day seafood dinner i requested for but was postponed till now!. HAHA! i ate crab and peeled prawns with the FAKE nails. it's possible! slept a lot too (napped after breakfast on 2nd day and always sleeping in the car, went for a swim w my sis in the nice sun!, ate nice spread of hotel breakfast (chris's fave), and just relaxing. the hotel is still very nice because it's new and we bumped into dn yap who's there with his extended family too. haha. family trips are so relaxing.
As the year is soon coming to a close, i realize i can start my 'thanksgiving list' a lil earlier than cramming it all on 31 Dec.
Things to be thankful for (chronological order):
- a good yr 2, sem 2 at school:
The beginning of this year was a good one, and finally a semester where i tried to open my eyes and find purpose in what i was studying. finally began to see importance in my school work and started being more mindful of my tasks. Also good that i finally took an interest in what i was studying cos we had more freedom to pick and choose our modules.then the 2 day week was wonderful too! also became more familiar with my tutors and my proj mates. i'll not forget ms nikki (where i finally learnt to consult tutors and talk with them), prof bo (the handsome hardworking korean prof alissa might go gaga over if i told her abt him) , clara my project mate (and our proj meetings in starbucks and talking through ideas), the cool bio class (filled with movies as our learning aid), jolin (who might become my fyp partner if things work out!), jieying (whose 21st birthday i got invited to) and shuxia (who's on the dean's list? haha) and also getting familiar with southeast asian theatre (names like kuobaokoon and the works of necessary stage etc. it was an enjoyable sem and it was fun going to school with the green project shop bag swee and apple got me. heh. made going to school more motivating guys!
-joining ttf:
this was the year i took a step and started joining in ttf activities.yea it seems funny how out of the blue i suddenly became friends with ttf and aunty lilian was a lil shocked. well, how i ended up there was quite 'magical' cos through lil events here and there, i realize i actually knew many of them. like isaac, mei hwa jie and also being involved in the christmas and easter play of 2007.i really enjoyed the hanging out with isaac and fred during prep for last year's musical. remember painting the chairs white, gg to the cemetery to film a scene in the drizzle, and finding a solution so the stage wings would not collapse! then,i started attending the alternate friday night meetings and i was more aware of working world stuff and just listened in awe at what i would soon be facing in 2 years time (or more like 1 week, cos internship is starting!) sounds highly challenging, but with this bunch there for support ( OF course not forgetting the 'old yf' (new term coined today by chris and i ;) ) there's nothing to fear! so 2008 marks the year i joined this nice small fellowship and i thank friends for paving the way to this cosy fellowship group where much in blessings has been gained.
-Family trip to Cameron highlands:
Over CNY this year, my family disappeared to Cameron Highlands for about 4 days? this trip shall be marked as my 'family trip of the year'. Cameron highlands was really a nice place with cool air, hills and the flower nurseries, scones and tea.and it was right after i passed the vroom test, so i was 'on cloud 9' the whole trip,and literally 'with the clouds' (being in the highlands)
-Driving Licence!
YES. there is much to be said about this topic. Can't thank God enough that it is over and behind me. the roads are mine to roam! hurhurhur.haaa! (hmm i still drive like a chicken but being qualified is step One enough!) many thanks for family support and friend support.
and then 2 months ago i thought i lost it,but thank God i found the card in my shorts pocket in the cupboard. brings a new meaning to treasure that piece of plastic. sometimes i feel that while i'm on the road a really bad something might happen and then i jeopardize my license, so sometimes i feel i'd rather not drive. but then it's being a lil like the servant who hid away his one talent cos he was afraid he'll lose it. Ah well, i wont be a triangle girl in 2 months! ( but i think i'll leave it on).
-yf dinners:
all throughout the year, saturday after saturday this occurs and we tend to overlook it, but i really missed it when i had to disappear for 2 months to attend to the Dancecape rehearsals.
the waiting around the foodcourt for chairs, the bubble tea and of course the fellowship. and it's over these dinners that a lot of stories (or gossips) are told or formulate. haha. and i don't know if i'll revisit it again in 2009 cos i'll be at ballet in future (being this close, i'm feeling chicken to make a commitment and go back though). but as i put on my welcome page.. 'commitment brings us to reality'. picked out that quote from my photojourn readings!
-tioman trip w parents:
Yea this was another mid year holidayish treat after church camp. basic: sun,sea and sand; Sure things to be thankful about. plus the blue and the lil fish and corals we saw.
-relief teaching:
Who's not thankful for money. and well, finally i could let those earnings sit in my bank account and not park it at bbdc =)
-a pinch of ballet:
Ballet is a thing most Wonderful and hence any encounter with it, no matter how brief spells much to be thankful for. Ok with that said, i shouldn't let fears hold me back right. no no. i'm going , i'm going! i'm excited.
-times with swee:
hehe. promoted to sista! status. -hugs- (last time we tried out partner lesbo status, but i think you and D go tgt better, it's ok if u disqualify me. heh. sista will last so cheers to us! )
Thank You for always going all out to be a friend. you are really an angel and thanks for the treat at IGGY's! i am really very touched by the surprise and gesture. i think i am still digesting it! haha. well i still remember it.. the bread starter, the dessert platter, etc etc, ah, shan't say it here but WE KNOW! ;) and that's enough. (: -burp-! (oops). ok that aside, there's also a lot of things we go through together in a year, year after year and i hope for many many years years years to come. i went to the old folks home for carolling and although the mood there is really depressing and sad, i still remembered the 'resolution' we shared, that one day, we'll sit old and foggy in an old folks home and eat our marie biscuits dipped in milk. =) and just our biscuit collection and us, will make us happy/will be enough amidst all the depression surrounding the walls of a 'lao3 ren2 yuan4'.
Oh but one last thing is, please ask me about a bracelet i've been wanting to give to you for 2 months. it's gold and yellow and red and white and black. pretty cool colour combi, and i really want to tell you what's it all about. you mean too much to me. =)
-teaching ballet:
Thankful to my friend mel who allowed me to cover a few classes for her each time she wasn't free. her impromtu relief teacher. heh. teaching ballet once in awhile is fun too and the girls dance well too. (oh man but there was once a girl from the pre-pri class cried cos i stopped the music when she was dancing cos the music was wrong = / ) ahh lil kids...
-Jazz rehearsals:
dancing jazz with veron is great too!
-surviving Photojourn:
from taking lousy photos to taking ok photos. and now i kinda know how to work a camera hehehe. it's fun stuff. but taking pictures is tiring and can be considered as 'work'! sometimes can get quite urgghh at deciding whether to snap or not. and then when i decide to snap, getting people in a certain action/pose is quite frustrating because i keep missing the moments! and i realized, a camera can be unsettling for subjects too. so there i am hungry for a picture and waiting for a shot, already focused, and the person gets uneasy cos i've had the camera facing them for the longest time yet not tripping the shutter. =p n then sometimes i give up and walk away without a photo and the person thinks i've already taken a million unglam shots of them. (oh but tt said and speaking of unglam shots.. hahha gloria has many! ;) she's full of 'moments' and it's so easy to snap her in action. )
-Nights Out with Apple and Swee:
haha and being the last guests at apple's brithday bash. yea nights out with u guys happen to few and far between, yea esp Apple. but.. nonetheless, it's always enjoyable and so de-stressing.
-Dance Rehearsals,Sfa, Dancescape 2008:
i have been on stage 3 times this year! yay. although my resolution this year was to 'get back to ballet' argh i have not quite and it's already been a year. BUT by a turn of events, just when i thought the chingchong chinese dance piece for national day would be a 'one off' thing, veron's jazz item came next and finally, Dancescape! although during the course of preparation, emily, samantha and i felt somewhat 'conned' into it, or didn't expect the sudden loss of our saturdays and subsequently weekday nights closer to the performance. Nonetheless, all that behind us, 'Dancescape 2008' was a great chance to spend a few days backstage at a theatre again and just absorb the feeling of preparing for a performance! from rushing to and from the changing room to the stage,the bright lighting on stage, getting smoked by dry ice, doing make up, messing up the make up, laughing at ourselves looking so wayang, joking about costumes and jesting around..eating lotsa snacks on performance day because food welfare was soo good! It has been 6 years since 'Just Dance' with miss ong. Veron, Samantha and I were all reminiscent of 'Just Dance' back in December 2002, and back then, we kinda knew tt wld be our last performance cos other friends were dropping out of ballet after tt and well, never did we expect that 6 years later we could still perform together.
-turning 21!
Weirdly enough this birthday celebration thing seemed to last through the month! because i've been eating a lot more since December started. From the family dinner, to swee and D's cake surprise, to chris, alissa and justin's burning cake! (good way to mark 21 years with fire!) and then one wk later there was still another surprise from Swee and then just over the weekend we ate the very lovely seafood dinner in JB. AND about my birthday ring from my sis, i finally get to collect it from alteration on 31 dec so, i get to wear it only then. and so there are still nuances of birthday! can't wait to see my ring again.
-friends who made it special :
thank you for all the surprises really. i'll never forget.
and as we move on to yr 2009, it's the year me and my friends turn 22! so fast? i haven't enjoyed 2-1 enough!
-ttf retreat:
i've already wrote about this before.
-yf camp:
this was a milestone in learning to trust God and relying on Him to work. the new theme for the church in 2009 is to make disciples for Christ. and hopefully, what was established in yf camp would continue as we learn to sacrifice our time to be a friend to those younger ones. Commitment it spells!
-surviving to yr 3:
Results for yr 3 sem one are out today (29 dec). uhm... yea, thank God! i did survive it!
-occasional drives at night
-God's providence
-God's love
-God's faithfulness
And i've come to realise, the saying is true-
"what does not kill you only makes you stronger"
And yup indeed it's true. of all the things we ever dreaded or feared, yet once we cross the challenge, we grow stronger and more experienced with each trial. And it doesn't matter if something does ultimately kill me, because then, i'll be in heaven with God! and on earth, through the hard stuff, God is beside me so let's all be tough. and not fear anything! either way, no matter what happens,
God is our assurance for He said 'Lo i am with you always' and 'He goes before and behind me''
A well wish from me to all passing! it's has been a whole year! a wrap up and we are back at Christmas again.
A time where most people look forward to, cos of good food, friendly catch up, carols, family, and if anything, just the closing of the year and looking forward to the next.
But we know, this year the recession hit and not many people are as joyous as previous years. next year brings uncertainty and many are not too keen about prospects in 2009. but life has to go on and time will keep going and so we move with time.
Tomorrow is Christmas eve. it's 3 a.m and i gotta be in church at 9:30 a.m. we are going to JEH for caroling with the old folks and sharing some joy/love. i'm gonna wear a yellow blouse! happy colour enough? hehh =p
Was preparing presents and cards and this year, trying to make a snowflake. more ambitious in the art and craft department. and as i got down to glue and cut the papers, a small voice kept ringing at the back of my head..
a remnant of what was preached at the pulpit on Sunday (or was it on Saturday by pastor at YF). He said that Christmas is a time of joy and bringing smiles to people around us, but what is most important is NEVER to forget the Babe of Christmas, Jesus Christ.
and i was almost on the verge of forgetting Christ and the ultimate gift on Christmas 2000 years ago:
There was christmas shopping with chris on monday with praveena too, and then there were choir practices on sunday and just this evening (tuesday), where i find i tend to soak in the tune more than the lyrics, and then there was present wrapping in prep for caroling at JEH ( Ju Eng Home) and then the wrapping of presents and writing of cards and food preparations (for others).
and trying to make 33 snowflakes, which amounts to 33x6= 198? pieces of paper folds to staple together. ahh. quite pointless in chionging for tt and not remembering Christ.
So.. yea, prayerfully hope i'd manage to find quiet moments here and there between christmas eve and christmas day itself to reflect on how good the Lord has been and the multiple blessings. Amidst all the thoughts i have swirling in my head from all random topics.. may Christ be in the Centre and Reason for it all (good and not so good).
Tomorrow will be a loong day... get to visit Chris's hamsters! (haven't seen them since she bought them!)
and my family will be spending christmas in JB for 2 nights! so when i get back, it'll all be done.
Above all, this Christmas Season again, God's been working in so many ways unimaginable! from the yf camp and how i've journeyed into ttf, a new fellowship this year and all the things happening in church and the activities and the friendships so much sillier (and better) which have blossomed over the past year. through ups and downs so unbelievable. and only God could have done it all.. in His own humorous way (yea, God has a sense of humour, irony and all things interesting.) 'Tis so sweet to Trust in Jesus..!'
Hello dear friends! i have not blogged for a week! and may i say this past 7 days which have just passed have been so eventful, i don't know where to spill because sometimes when we share it all out, the moment loses part of its beauty when it's all out 'on the table'.
The trip to Desaru was a great one. spending one night out of Singapore in the company of ttf-ers. they really took good care of me =) i roomed with mei hwa jie, janet and elaine. and in the next adjoining room were the other ladies, wendy, audrey, annie and eileen. Just looking at the way we ladies piled into our room and how we started settling in, quickly established a clear distinction between the occupants of the two rooms. my room was declared 'the dirty people' and the other room was 'the clean people'. mainly because they were doing lady-like hygienic things like disinfecting the place with spray and sunning the pillows and disinfecting the cups etc. [i should have listened to my mother and brought 'solu-guard' to spray the room, then i think i sure win in the disinfecting dept. but, i didn't want to stink up the room for my roomates so i declined her offer. hehe] the 'dirty room people' just ensured our air con was working, checked that the toilet was usable and plopped on the bed =p very quickly it was also discovered that 'dirty room people' were also lazy and other 'un glamourous' adjectives, whilst the 'clean room people' were all the right , responsible things. heh.
Messages were given by Rev Goh seng fong. he covered the topic of 'finding your significance in Christ'. i think it was a very good precursor to yf camp, because the topics were similar and it helped me prepare my mindset to go lead yf camp on monday. The milk tea served by the resort (golden beach) was yummy and so i kept drinking tea. oh yes, Saturday marked the start of my 'eating like nobody's business, beyond control escapade'. sigh sigh.
Thank God for safe journey mercies there and back. the over taking on the single lane roads were really scary. the car engine revving up, the pick up of speed (like aeroplane take off each time we cross the other lane of on coming traffic to overtake), and the lane changes. I could not sleep even though i was sleepy because i felt i had to 'watch the road' just so i know what was going on. didn't want the worse imagination of being jolted awake and landing into an accident (choy!). but thank God all was safe and well. plus it was a challenge to follow closely behind two powerful vehicles on the way back- one SUV and one MPV. but Desmond's Honda jazz kept going strong like a faithful horse.
On Sunday, when we were supposed to visit the fruit/ ostrich farm after the retreat, the weather turned rainy on us and so we went to Jusco to shop. i indulged in food. Sighs. we had lunch at Secret recipe. eating cakes and pie and a salad. And then i ate greentea ice cream. and spent 10 rm on 4 pieces of specialty chocolate. walked around with meihwa jie. some shops had good sales going on, but seeing the mess and piles of clothing in the shop, i started to feel a lil tired and sick that i think, sometimes, i think i'd rather pay a little more and shop in a nice environment than dig through piles of clothes looking for a good deal amidst a whole load crap of junk trashy fashion pieces. of course the thrill of finding a good deal in such a junk pile is fulfilling too. but if the mood is not there, it's better not to dig and get myself feeling nauseous after awhile.
Elaine, Desmond, Mei hwa jie and i decided to return to singapore early and not join the rest for seafood. I guess leaving early whatever the reason, is always a wise thing to do. We reached Singapore at about 7 plus and i was home by 8 p.m. so i joined my parents for dinner but wasn't really hungry. despite my sleepiness, i still tried driving a little that night. After dinner, my mother still wanted to eat desserts (as always) so we ended up eating seconds at pastamania. tried their apple dessert pizza. like apple crumble atop the pizza base. yummy treat. but fattening =(
Then i went home and it was packing for camp!
Thank God i managed to wake up early and report on time for YF camp. YF camp updates shall be saved for another time. Rev Tan Chor Kiat is not that boring. he is interesting, and VERY patient. Thank God for how camp ended towards campers' night and beyond too.i Thank God for the prayer segment we had, by praying for our members and having everyone share a word about camp afterthoughts. We slept at 4 a.m 2 nights in a row cos of debrief and some goofing around. that is taxing enough.But this camp, really bonded the old people together. it feels like we are working towards a common goal and we understand one another better now. the leader's training really helped lay a foundation. many thanks to Aunty Arlyn's willingness to give of her life and spend time with the youth. it makes a difference to have a mother speak and advice us than aunty lilian as the usual advisor. i sensed a certain diff. well, for me at least.
This camp also revealed 2 things: On one hand, the camp allowed p5 and 6's to join and they get a taste of YF. on the other hand, it also really showed us how advanced in years we are and how our interests have really diverged from theirs. and so, it also means there is a work to continue and lead these young ones prayerfully, to seek out Christ from a tender age. To grow yf in that area, and 'recruit' those p5's and 6's when they become sec 1, and continue the work of YF.What we feel, is pretty much a small scale of what Paul was feeling and hoping for Timothy in 2 Timothy. (ironic huh!)
then as usual, i burst my seams on final night throwing cookies, fruit, biscuit, otah, satay, bee hoon and other yummies into my stomach like nobody's business so i was just ballooning with food. and ta-pau the left over egg sandwich home even! =/
After YF camp, i met my mum at cwp and we ate dinner at breeks. ok this time i got to eat a decent caesar salad. i think my fave caesar salad is still the one at grand corpthorne hotel's buffet spread. that's the first thing i will eat when i go for that buffet and i'd get various servings. but still was feeling full all the time cos of so much food pile up.
Thursday, i went roller blading at ecp with swee and her friends from nus. thanks dear girl for extending the invite. i enjoyed ecp, the sights and relaxing blading this time. and dinner at Aston's and hei(1) from awfully chocolate.
Friday was lazy day. i made a trip down to ICA again. followed my dad. was up by 7a.m. and upon reaching, did the long queue around the building. i was the first person for claiming refund for ic money and it's so cool to be at a place a early as 8a.m in the morning. then i headed to woodlands and tt's when the lazy breezy relaxing, HOLIDAY day began!
today i really felt the true essence of a Holiday! gosh. it means,
-baggy shirts and shorts,
-a slow walk through the neighbourhood to eat breakfast at a coffee shop.
-wind in your hair.
-great company of certain friends =) and then,
- a cooling swim in the early afternoon and allowing the skin to sap up whatever sun there is for a bit of tanning. then
- going to a home to slack some more. (but eating a lot of extra food also = / )and just not have anything EXTRA on the mind.
truly nirvana like!
in the evening, events slightly took a turn. met chris to shop for luke's present, then went to jessie's hiphop dance concert before rushing to luke's birthday celebration at his home. we reached at 10:05. played a lil and everyone left shortly after 11p.m. of course there was cake and i ate 2 servings of dinner. boo. still feeling full. chris and i were eating 'pods' before the show too. ahh the calories!
and that closes the day. me still feeling full. sigh. been full for the past 72 hours!!!
Tomorrow is Saturday.
gift wrapping for JEH and then cottage meeting which means more food. oh man. christmas next week. i'm gonna become like RHINO the hamster in 'Bolt'!!!
most recent updates!! (like anybody cares about my news =p )
I FOUND MY IC!!!!
guess where:
In my BIBLE.
hmmm.... yea.
the story:
i had my bags all packed for Desaru and decided to take out the piece of paper to browse through the names of campers i am to pray for. AND, as i digged through to the papers, digging past my bible, i accidentally yanked the front hard cover of my bible off! (yea, violent me). So need to repair.. so i took out the fancy scotch tape swee got me from China! and then i was about to tape the cover together when this pink card just slipped out, along with MOS burger's (expired) '15th anniversary discount card'.
Given my previous mindset that the pink card was lost forever and ever, it looked rather foreign to have it before my eyes again. ( SOMETHING LIKE, when Silas Marner lost all his gold coins and when Eppie (the lil baby girl) with golden curls crawls up his door step one night, he looks at the gold curls with new fascination wondering if it was his lost gold coming back to him). yea the card looked so foreign, yet it was IT!!! (i am lukier than Silas Marner!!!)
(Silas Marner is a literature text.)
yay yay yay!!!
1) i get my $100 back!!
2) to THINK i travelled all the way to ICA today and to arts house and vivo for photoshoot ytd, and had my IC with me all along in my bag, with my Bible!!!!
woohoo.
find my ic in my Bible!!!
' Honour God and He will honour you. it's good to start with God. '
nice OBJECT lesson!!! lovely
ok. better sleep now.
got my passport extended to January 2010 too! i am free to go anywhere now. yay!
'it's good to be a Singapore citizen' =p lol. ( after taking oath some more. lol)
SIGH. today was such a horrible day. i've never had a longer day filled with so many empty spaces.
So my grand plan today was to head down to ICA and take the 'oath of allegiance, loyalty and renunciation' as well as renew my passport. lovely plan it was, for a lovely wednesday. Alas, 10 minutes before 11am when i was about to leave the house, i realize my pink IC is not in my wallet nor my box nor anywhere in my room. [imagine gg through the cards in your wallet and u see no ic and the REALIZATIOn just falls upon you- oops u have no ic.)
So i embark on a 2 hour search of the IC in my 'ready to go out clothes' yet not knowing when i'll even get to leave the house. and trust me, the feeling is horrible. ok. i felt like someone who dresses up at home to sit around. Seriously, and nobody ever does that.
Then i call up chris at 1pm. and tell her. and then. i continue. and when i realise it's gonna be a futile effort, having searched all my jeans pockets, bag pockets and under the floor of my room, i sit back at 2:30 and just lie on my bed to take a snooze. i mean what more can i do. searching does not bring out my ic. and since i'm always in need of sleep (esp during the day) i just go and snooze. sigh.
And i only ate one ferrero rocher the whole day right up to 4pm.
Then my mother called and was on the way home so i met her opposite to eat ipoh horfun. which was yummy cos i hadn't eaten anything the whole day. and then maybe the day got better, because i knew after the 'empty ica hours' were passed, i had planned for an evening jog with swee dearest. So i left at 5pm and walked around cwp before going to her place and heading out for a lovely evening jog. the weather was cool and the wind was blowing. nice weather to run. But i ran too fast in the beginning i had a stitch (which i thought was appendicitis in my worst nightmares) but it subsided after a few minutes and towards the end of the half hour, i could run better without discomfort.
We had a nice time together of course. simple dinner, and casual walk around cwp. i sent my ring in for alteration too. before meeting swee, i was at cwp to collect the ring which was changed to a larger size. but when the shop attendant slipped on an orange stoned ring on my finger i was like 'y is it orange!!? (in horror).' the lady told me the colour of sapphire stones vary. and only orange can be found for that ring size left. i was so distraught. i asked if any other colours were available. in the end i was on the verge of gg to amk after the jog to change it to a green sapphire stoned one. but swee got me to my senses that since i liked the original colour of the sapphire stone my sis picked for me, i should stick with it and it'll have greater meaning too cos she chose tt colour for me. so, i sent it in for alteration. it'll only be ready at the end of the year. gosh.
So it was a lovely evening with swee ling. with nice weather and an ok dinner.
And then i reach home and tried another means, by applying for passport online. but i think i still can't get my application through cos of the 'allegiance oath' i have yet to take. so they don't wanna issue passport to me unless i do that first i guess.. argh.
So through all this, just because i am lacking in a sweet little pink card, i can't make new passport, can't take oath. can't do any Singapore immigration matters stuff. Sighs.
Means i am also preparing my mind that this Saturday i am not gonna go anywhere out of singapore and i'll be in singapore. I'll still 'try my luck' and just be prepared to turn back at the causeway cos of insufficient passport validity. =(
Sighs.
But, amid all the chaos of today, i must still move on with life and the rest of my plans for the week. laying off ica plans, i shall follow my sis to her photoshoot tomorrow and think about happy things again. and then friday it's yf camp logistics and printing of booklet. and life has to go on.
1) report missing ic
2) apply for ic (live with temporary application slip)
3) take oath (if they allow temp application slip as evidence of an ic)
4) renew passport.
5) PAY and PAY.
sigh. responsible ah. damn responsible, ms 21-year-old =(
Today was monday and it was a public holiday, and little did i realise, it was once again, a monday where i did not have to travel to lavender mrt! i have been 'released' from rehearsal duties to lead 'any kind of life i want'!
the same kind of feeling i had when i finished my 'A' levels and felt nothing but free (maybe too free) for 7 months!
the feeling of no pressure, no stress, just.. like tt lor. lol
'Dancescape' happened so fast! it was just a really exhilarating Saturday and then the joy of performing, having finished it.. and then random songs/music/ dance steps just keep replaying in my mind. As my brain randomly recalled bits from saturday and trying to relive each moment. Before i know it, the weekend is over and like all passing things, it's like it never happened. But of course, experiences and memories gained will remain forever even long after the event is over. Photographs help in preserving the moment too.
Anyway, today i wanted to go for a swim with my family but it was raining the whole day! and now the rain has left behind a whole mist of chilly weather! but i like it cooling! finally it's december! those rainy days and christmas lighting (yea, finally woke up to see the streets)
Instead, i ended up just sleeping and sleeping. i am currently reading 'fightclub' , a thin book i found from my sister's bookshelf. had to give the book a wipe to remove the dust! haha. the first novel written by Chuck Palahniuk. it's a unique book. the protagonist talks about 'making bombs' and other intriguing things one would never think abt. it's like reading into 'a rough out , back alley' boy's life.
In the evening, my parents and i went to jubilee hall to watch a charity fund raising performance by filipinos based in singapore, courtesy of aunty arlyn cos she's the stage manager! the mission was to raise funds for education for children in Manila. Singing was really powerful!
For the rest of the week, i finally get to go out with my friend! wearing pretty dresses and heading out to spend a lovely day with babe tomorrow =) (update: WE WENT TO IGGY'S at Regent Hotel!it was a really pleasant birthday surprise from dear swee ling.)and i get to watch a movie (we watched 'BOLT'. really cute hamster and quite touching.)! and possibly a film at national museum in the evening too! (we went to starbucks to get a drink instead. ) and on wednesday it's Apple's birthday!
Thursday going out with my sis for her photoshoot. i was a lil stressed abt having to be the driver. but i think she's going to hire the company's transport service instead (after the reality check i received). i drove back from jubilee hall just now. hah. and my dad and i started arguing again. gosh i really hate unfamiliar roads. it's been almost a year and i'm still like crap. i wonder if i'll ever get to be confident enough to drive alone.
road merging.. changing lanes.. turning at junctions. gosh. these unnerve me =( i have a phobia of moving out and turning at a junction.
Poor jared was with us in the car. hearing me and my dad squabble, me whining, my dad saying the same stuff about 'don't slow down, just go' etc etc. sigh i think i am too cautious that i become a road hazard =/
I would very much like to be an efficient driver one day too. don't know how it'll happen though. (but well, just need a chance to get regular with driving again i guess). but it doesn't matter how.. a few other issues in my life happened all the same even when i didn't have a clear idea. Time will really bring us to and through many things. Sometimes, the best is just to wait (upon the Lord).
Having said that about being independent and moving an inch more to 'adult stuff', ever since turning 21, there has been little changes i feel. I realised with the fact that i'm 21, i can really make my own decisions! i think in future , my parents are ready to let go already. i think if i were to make any decision, (say, life endangering agreement to drive my sis for her photoshoot), even though my parents may worry at the idea, i think they will now have a 'pausing thought' which tells them 'she's already 21, so she can make her own choices' and then i guess they'll just be cool with it and hope for the best. Same case with going to desaru for ttf retreat this weekend. they never objected before of course. but in terms of the usual 'worry for safety stuff' , i can feel like i can really 'go on my own as an individual now'. (like i can just hop into patrick's car with shermaine and meihwa jie and off we go! without leaving an itinerary for the parents). the feeling i get is a lil different from last year when i spent 2 weeks in philippines without them.
On my side, i feel more responsibility to 'take charge of my life'. When i think of venturing out into new areas, i feel like i am on my own now. For example, now that 'Dancescape' is done, my next aim is to go back to ballet. but now that i am so close to it, i do get a lil apprehensive if that is really what i should strive for. But the 'after thought' i get is no longer 'what my parents might say', but rather, 'this is now my life and i am responsible for carving out the path i want to take'. Thus, i am no longer 'joined to them' so to speak.
same for my thoughts towards my coming internship and final year project in year 4. It's now 'my stuff' and 'my life' now. Parents all get old and we can't really expect them to keep up with what we are doing all the time. and hence, any decisions i make, be it perhaps venturing into a project which requires us to go overseas, or going on a holiday with friends next mid year, it would be 'purely in my responsibility'.
it's time to shape up now because when people talk to adults , they see us as individuals already and not 'what do your parents think'. one example would be what happened last week. i was disgustingly late for rehearsals on thursday and friday, because i overslept. my mother is so funny. despite knowing i am late, she still asked me if i wanted to go eat lunch with her at 1:30 p.m. Hello? no! i'm supposed to just head straight to dance where everyone else was! and to think about it.. imagine if i arrived at dance and told derek ' sorry i am late because my mother wanted to eat lunch with me'. it would sound so stupid because the voice in my head would scream something like 'hello?! u r 21 years old! eat what lunch with your mother?'. So all the blame would fall on me! (grr. the perils of responsibility)
And above all, the 'wise words' my mother provided for my 21st birthday was that i now have to be 'accountable and responsible for all my actions to God and man'.
And yes, i am feeling it. haha. i wake up so late [pun]. but yea finally.
No more excuses about 'my parents no money (to provide for my extra wants)' or 'my parents need to eat lunch/dinner with me' which hold me back on many things i was too lazy/scared to pursue in the past.
Along with much of the excitement of having freedom and being your own person, it is a little saddening too that my parents are no longer responsible for me =(
Because all my life they have cared for me and you know you can always run to them with any problem and they will always stick up for you. They will ever be willing to make right any wrong you committed if it is in their ability to do so, and will always stand up for you because they love you. and they'll be your biggest supporters. So it's good to know no matter what, they'll be there! But well, maybe growing up can be seen as a blessing too because with a little less reliance on Parents, i'd learn to rely more on God the Heavenly Father. and His characteristics are pretty much the same and better as what i mentioned of the nature of parents.
'Responsible' is a word i kinda cringe away from. I've never liked being 'the accountable one'. To a certain extent, maybe i have this character flaw because i'm the youngest in my family. When i think of this 'R' word, i remember the phrase from Spiderman, 'With great power comes great responsibility'. another thing why i shrink away is perhaps because i am not a power hungry person. But ah well, Responsibility has to be learnt.
After 21 years of life and as i look back, i realize one thing: that God has been faithful and He really makes no mistakes. =) This year, my resolution was to walk away from fear and leave it behind. i Thank God that He has sustained me and i have more faith now to be independent. In the coming year 2009, i am getting the answer that the next thing to learn is to strive to be Responsible!
To sum it up, the voice in my head tells, 'This is your life, make IT happen. only you are responsible'.
Just like how my dad is now a proud finisher of a 42.195 km full Marathon! He did it! yay for him.
For the first time in 10 weeks, i was finally on time in reporting to dance rehearsal for 'Dancescape 2008'.
Well the event is over! and this saturday marks the 10th saturday in a row since we began practice at sfa building. it's been a whole journey of 2 months. rather rush to put a show together.. but i don't think i could have committed 6 months of preparation.
Anyway, a big CHEERS! to 'Dancescape 2008'!!
Many thanks to friends and family who came to support.
Just got back from yet another evening of rehearsals leading up to this saturday's performance. golly! it's gonna be so soon!
Monday we rehearsed in the main hall so that the space was bigger. it felt more free and liberating to be able to run freely across the stage or in a large circle and expand our energies. was still trying to keep up cos i as still foggy on monday (plus it was after 'army training') Derek started scolding seriously on monday. then on, i knew this was REALLy the wk to buck up and do our best.
Tuesday, was rehearsal in the same place, just that with costumes and light make up. Getting a lil surer of steps. a fraction less mistakes!
Each day passes and soon, it's already wednesday. tomorrow is thursday and we will be spending the whole day at lee foundation theatre. at bencoolen street, located within the NAFA campus 3 building.
we get to test the stage, test the lights. feel the reality of it all. we are going on stage! 'wo3 men2 yao4 shang4 tai2 le4!'
Today at rehearsals we tried out make-up , just the basic of contouring the face with darker/lighter shades of foundation to mark out the cheekbones and face, yet lighten the forehead, eyes and cheeks. We also rehearsed segment 3 (oh yah. i finally got a part it it. but am still very unsure of the steps. slowly warming up to them though. all is good so far. (: )
Adam taught us how to do our make up. Whilst spreading the creamy foundation across my face and blocking out the pores, i was SO thankful that pimples and acne were no longer plaguing my face because, it would've been really painful to apply all that thick stuff on the face and although the redness is concealed, it'll be so bumpy and i'll just feel really bad.
So as i smeared on the stuff on my face today, i was secretly REALLY thankful for aunty Brenda and her treatment because it has really given me back my self esteem and confidence again. and i can be like a normal person just like my performing peers. When i started treatment, i NEVER imagined how my face will ever look like skin again. sigh. just really thankful with relief now.
As said, all things always lead up to something. i am so glad that 6 months ago i went for treatment cos God knows that 6 months later i would actually land myself in a performance and face issues kinda matter with all the make-up involved.
Yesterday, i splurged 100 on an external hardrive. i thought it was time to backup my stuff from the computer especially with the increasing collection of photos i've been accumulating ever since my photojourn module. i have realised the importance of 'capturing moments'. And i don't want to lose them. So yes, i felt it was time to invest in an external hard drive. Thus it can be considered 'my birthday present from my parents'. Yea how boring for a 21st 'present. but it's necessity and it goes to good use!
And so i began transferring photos and organizing them into files. and i came across a 'roll 83' and one image in it, really shocked me. still on the topic of acne.. i never got a clear photo of my pimples (cos no one wants to be camwhore with a bumpy face) but this image was shocking. But nonetheless, it shows me 'how far i've come'.
(hehe the wide smile could only be because of ice cream and apple crumble! heheh) also, i can hear my mum's voice in my head, 'no photos on facebook ah! and NO photos on multiply too! >:( ' )
Still on this topic, i remember 'proactiv solutions' adverts on tv innovation. 'proactiv solutions' is a really effective acne treatment which is supposed to work for a lot of people. i remember one particular testimony from a lady who said it as given to her as a birthday present. when i first heard that when i was in primary sch, i thought it was a funny thing to receive pimple treatment package for a birthday present.
But seeing the picture and how much my face condition has improved since, (NOT with proactiv though. proactiv did SHIT for me), i finally understand what it means to 'receive an acne solution' for a birthday present.
So my parents may not have given me anything wowee big for my 21st birthday, but to me, that acne treatment since 6 mths ago is really the biggest and best present i could've received.
I don't care if it's 2 December already and it's 3 a.m in the morning! i am still enjoying my birthday because hunger strikes at this hour again and this time, i've got cake to line my tummy and stop it from groogling (new made-up word). [forget macdonald's breakfast]
Sitting back at the end of the long day and relishing on.. the chocolate orange cake. and just rethinking/ replaying the days events and i feel so blessed! [ Swee i really love the cake! it helps that i eat it when i'm HUNGRY, so it tastes BETTER. so i'd always have great memories of choc-orange combination.] So i've just discovered a new like! (: (oh the cream layer is rather thick though).
hehe. the choc-orange cake is making good friends with chris.alissa.justin's surprise choc-mint cake in the fridge!
it's funny but when i spent the last hour of my birthday taking the train home from lavender, i was staring at the clock which was 5 min to 12 at jurong east mrt where i changed train to the North-south line. and when i reached choa chu kang, it was 10 min past 12 midnight and there goes 'my day'.
I guess i finally remember the significance of a birthday! it's a particular day in the whole year specially assigned to you, which you can call yours, simply cos you were born on that day years ago. Having my birthday so late at the end of the year, i've attended/seen so many birthdays of my friends.. and on those days, we do special things for our beloved friend, basking in seeing their joy and feeling happy for them, and to be able to be with them and share their joy.
And i thought that was as fun and enough. But it really feels different when the table is turned and it's your own birthday you are commemorating and it's your friends singing the birthday song, addressing you. hehe. the special attention one receives on their special day is like a little blessing and 'a break' from all the crap one might experience in a year's worth of time.
And i guess that is why little kid's are so overwhelmed and excited about their own birthday parties.
So, i feel like a kid again. (despite turning 21). ironic huh. ;p
Thank you dear friends for making me feel special, and making the day special too, by all your effort and of course, taking time off your own schedules to spend time with me!! I enjoyed your company lots lots.
When i think of 'prawn', several ideas come up in my head as to what i associate 'prawn' with. First, there's the nickname my mum gave me, she calls me 'prawny' and often offers me the last prawn on the plate cos she thinks i adore prawns. (but actually i have learnt to eat prawns in moderation already). Secondly, i think of 'prawn paste chicken' my mother likes to eat, but i don't really fancy. and thirdly, it's 'the prawn sister'. (a.k.a, chairyhairy). connotes a blur creature, swimming around aimlessly.
So much so, in my previous phone, i saved her contact as 'prawn sista'. but when my phone crashed and i started using my dad's old 8250 since October, i saved her contact as 'Prawn'.
and yesterday, 'Prawn' messaged me, saying 'hi, i forgot to bring my contact lens. can bring for me pls?' sth like that.I was really amused! because it clearly summed it up- she's really a prawn! hahaha.
So of course i did her the favour. on hindsight i realised something more remarkable- you know, a few days ago i was thinking about aunty ruth's day-to-day testimony again. the kind where she shares about her day's events and how it sums up so wonderfully the way 'God has planned it'.
I realised, this situation was somewhat a parallel and i thus begin to understand a lil better. and, Thank God for the way events unfolded.
So here's how my friday went:
i was due to meet chris (and a lot of other people =p ) at 4:30 but prior to that i had the option of going out to meet swee ling for lunch, or go out with my mother (she kept asking a few times if i wanted to lunch with her).
However, as friday turned out, i was sleeping in and my mum asked if i wanted to meet her at 12 sth at cwp for lunch after she was done with her appt, but i was drawn to my bed and slumber. So i snoozed. and she called from cwp at 12 plus, offering me 'another chance' if i would want to travel to cwp or even town by 2p.m for some lunch and her christmas shopping. and somehow, i was already awake but still feeling dopey at home (blame the pj's) and much preferred to just continue reading 'salem falls' by jodi picoult. So i actually turned my poor mother down for a lunch date. that was saying no to a good free meal, and some shopping. hehe.
Actually second reason was partly cos i knew the buffalo wings i was going to have in the evening would be really filling so i shouldn't eat anything too filling before that too.
And so i bummed at home and at about 2 plus, when i was about to shower and get ready, Prawn's message came. and so, it turned out i was able to pass her the contact lens because i was still at home, and she wasn't a blind bat for the evening drama performance.
Good thing i didn't go meet my mum or lunch with swee ling.
yep. so that's a lil amazing story too!
disclaimer: BUT! this does not mean chairyhairy can continue being a prawn.
I was taking the mrt today and what i saw on the overhead advertisement boards were adverts put out by 'The Economist'! and i must say it is a good ad. the first question i saw was
Qtn:'Al-Qaeda a Boogey man or real threat?'
Ans:
(being fresh from international affairs exam, i thought 'al qaeda even in the mrt?!?')
Amongst this, were other questions on other boards. such as 'will higher petrol prices lead to busier trains?' 'does Singapore have enough space for another 2 million?'.
And i must say this advert is cool and engaging. like what we learnt in com 401 (the crapping,smoking subject), this advert engages the audience on an individual level! the question/ans style. haha. reminded me of exams though. not very healthy. cos i didn't know how to answer to those 'blank lines' following the question in the advert. it's a good advertisement cos it made me feel like 'omg! i don't know all these answers! i better buy 'the economist' and read widely into it!!'
hehe cool eh the advertising idea.
Maybe i'd poke my head into an advertising module in future in year 4!
Yup i really like that latest advert put out by 'The Economist'. wonder which company did it for them. (maybe young and rubicam!) haha.
well seeing such adverts on the mrt makes my day somewhat and it's better than the stupid 'okamoto condoms'. so disgusting. the moment i lifted my head once and saw that advert i was so put off to see the shape of a penis staring right back at me in the face. so graphic. wonder how that advert even got approved.. and on the mrt even!? alarming..
My exams ended today -beams-.
but next 2 weeks would be working towards the 6th december performance. i had to go for rehearsals tonight even. no celebrations yet. quite looking forward to friday (my first and last fun till after the performance).. gonna watch fajar sec's sch play and chairy hairy is acting as a bimbo! her line is, 'you mean, i can't be the bimbo anymore?' hehe. that's the silliest thing chairy hairy will ever say. see the benefits of theatre? you get to explore 'other personalities' and not be accused of being a bitch or criticised by others, instead, people might even compliment you on 'how well you acted'!
michael once told us, 'acting is the art of doing nothing well'. hehe he said acting is the only job which allows you to take on different personalities, and get paid for it! when, if others start taking on diff personalities, they get diagnosed as being schizophrenic and sent to the mental hospital.
however, he shared with us about his role as a retard in 'the pillow man' which gained him the best supporting actor award, but some of us quipped that 'the retard always gets the best supporting actor' as if it were easy to clinch because being retarded causes one to be so bizarre because of the extremism in the character. so we brushed it off like nothing, to which he protested in feigned disappointment, 'i worked really hard for it okay.' lol.
the holidays roll by and once again, i'm gonna try read a book (: 'Salem Falls' by jodi picoult.
really stumped at what to put in a title. i thought to put 'what i feel' but my mind was blank. thought of 'what's up next' and exams aren't interesting. thought about 'my weekend' but that title's been used before. so, Gbatokai.
hehe. who's that? what's that? well, it's the name of Helene's black bf in the Scandinavian dogme film directed by Thomas Vinterberg, 'The celebration', or 'Festen (1999)'.
i think his name is cool. might be good to use for bad word in future. haha.
i'm blogging here now just to say, its 1 a.m. on monday morning and i suddenly feel drowsy and am too lazy to read further reports on 'the new york times' and trying to 'get myself off the hook' by telling that, 'tomorrow is a new day so there'll be fresher news articles when i check back there, so i'll just wait for tomorrow to read the news at one shot'. hurhurhur. after i regret. (ok la i will go browse browse now). i scare myself with being 'future sighted'. so i act now. lalala..
but i think i do want to sleep earlier tonight and not at 3-4 am. so tomorrow can have a fresh early start (and possibly macdonald's breakfast =p) heh. still thinking abt it. but ok no tt won't happen. i'm only left with 20 dollars for the rest of the week.
talking about mcdonald's, my mother was saying how 'redheads' are found in scotland and that's where ronald mcdonald is from?! i don't think that is true though. speaking of scotland/singapore, the Singapore Embassy has not sent me any letter to declare my choice in citizenship (maybe it's no longer a process to be done).. and i guess my hopes of receiving a birthday cake from UK embassy are so down the drain, it's nv gonna happen. (heh. was just Wishing they'd give me a birthday cake for my 21st). but waiving the 10,000 sing dollar hospital bills(had i been born in SG) is good enough, i feel somewhat paiseh abt it. but nonethless, long live nhs (national health services)! hehehe. yup so they don't owe me anything. and it's ok if there's no birthday cake.
mental note to self: my friend said she's gonna focus on america, islam and myanmar for tuesday's exam. ok i shall follow suit and study those too (: plus middle east. urm human rights, globalisation, environment, and palestinian conflict AND iraq war.
I may be luosuo, wu liao or really gripe about the nitty gritty, and here's another entry to prove that. hehe. I took bus number 33 today. to get me to the right destination(s) where i needed to go today. i'm pretty amazed (easily) by this lil bus service number which is really well connected and i salute the bus route planners over at smrt and sbs.
Yup i always admire 'the people who plan' especially if they plan really large networked stuff. some examples include, the mrt line, the road arrows and double yellow line (i'm really impressed how it all flows and there are no clashes all through singapore. no road turning happens to turn into head on traffic, given that they all start from various points so far apart only to merge at a junction and still work out fine), the traffic light system, and just two days ago when taking the bus home and looking up at the various designs of hdb flats, that is another design and structure which goes down to my 'admiration list'. (if u take a second look at all the different block designs it's so wonderful, especially when u zoom in and each flat is so nicely layed out also) if i were the hdb architecht.. my.. i'd be so happy with my first block design i'd just stamp the same thing across singapore. But those architects are really gifted to come up with so many variations and designs down to the little stuff (making sure the kitchen window and corridors tend to face inwards and the rooms and lil windows tend to face the main road).OH and then there's the URA (urban redevelopment authority of Singapore) which plans the whole Singapore! haha. should try and work there next time as 'an urban planner' =p
(urgh first things first. should work on planning essays well first before any other)
Back to bus 33. well, i had to stop by queensway today and continue my journey to chinatown for evening dance rehearsals. and bus #33 did the job really well!
i boarded it from dover area, outside spgg and then i was just taking note of the route it went through...slowly weaving through bouna vista area, hitting the aye, and turning off and whoala! queensway shopping centre appeared after the turn! and then i alighted, ran my errand and went back to the same stop to board the same number and watch how it travelled through to chinatown.. it's all linked!
from queensway, it went to dawson place (where seedlings is!) and then past queenstown secondary school (where arwinder, my jc classmate used to study) and then pass gan eng seng school (where faye studied) and then it turned out and i see 'redhill' mrt (where swee and i hanged and i ate a mr bean soya icecream cone [rmbr the dirty old man?]).. then it travels along the line to tiongbahru mrt (where alissa, luke and chris and i sampled 'rajah inn') and then it snaked through redeveloped tiong bahru flats (i like the flats at tiong bahru area. sucha sense of nostalgia (for people who know the Singapore's past better) well, i just admired how nice the redevelopement gave the old blocks such a 'newface'. it's 'cool' if you get to work or live there now! hope they never ever demolish the flats there (heyy! maybe i can fyp on this topic). then it passed 'outram mrt' and then it turned off and next thing i see was 'eu tong sen street' and wow.. i'm in chinatown!
yay didn't get lost. enjoyed the bus ride. and tiong bahru is still a nice area to visit.
so i enjoy bus rides cos i get to get a tour of an area and get a sense of it. (aha don't talk about the time i took 856 from woodlands to yishun and ended up on a 1 hr bus ride journey when woodlands to yishun is just 3 mrt stops away). But! i got to weave through the industrial estate!
Half my exams are gone. i sat down this afternoon for my 'popular cinema' paper. well, i add though, that i do not feel too good about it. sigh. But as my senior tells me, it's all in God's hands now that the essay's been written and handed in. just gotta pray she gets an A for her media law and i get nothing lower than a B for popular cinema. (see the difference in goals). but i am taking small steps so.. i'll get there too.
Well. getting a lil waning in energy and demoralised, but i still have half my exams left on my hands. and this is gonna be on tuesday. to buck up again and strive to photojourn and contemp topics.. these 'chances' are so precious but i keep feeling that i'm falling short and wasting them/not making the most of it..
felt fine on the first day but now i feel a sudden weariness and inability to plan my essays well. sometimes i look at the question and i have all the facts swimming in my head, but i can't seem to put two and two together and lay them out in a really good, concise, brilliant essay with a clear line of argumentation, support and conclusion. to decide between which are the points which will gain brownie points and which are just trash.
Well, if i keep dreaming and thinking on it hard enough, it might come true, i believe.
i mistook 'obama' for 'osama' today. haha. my brain is tricking me.
i finally appeared again at dance rehearsals today. getting clearer of the chinese dance we are to perform. tried on our costumes today. i was a dancing seaweed with -2 and a half buffalo wings- in my tummy. rather ironic!
another appearance tomorrow and then i'll disappear on saturday and the following friday. well it's 2 days off. nonetheless, the performance date is drawing near, 6 december and everyone is feeling the heat.
chinese dance may be fine but i wonder about modern dance, finale segment one and now there's a segment three?
well that's for kiv. still have my exams in the meantime.
OK i just felt really distracted and un-motivated today and as a result screwed one paper up. so i feel like fug. so i dunno what tomorrow might bring but this feeling has got to pass soon..
could not sleep last night wondering WHY so.. and thinking about so many random things like, eating a macdonald's breakfast.. the good thing was, it became reality because i had a good breakfast. my mum bought cheecheong fun (another food item i was thinking abt).
I finally finished reading the book i borrowed from Galvin. to be more specific, it is entitled, 'Islam and the jews'. and it is written by Mark A gabriel, a former muslim who was a professor at the very prestigious al azhar university in egypt. he specializes in Islamic history and culture and he memorized the whole Quran by age 12. and academically.. he graduated second out of 6000 students. (another smart guy. a first class honours). haha.ha!. so credibility wise.. should be quite ok. (not considering the part about his bias and how he might manipulate info he knows to present a certain idea).
And then i go back to an editorial i wrote for Javed two months ago on Islamic fundamentalism in Indonesia. Now with my new insights.. i feel quite ashamed to have written sth like tt.. in an ignorant state to be 'politically correct and an all-embracing person', putting everything in a nice light.
'On the flipside of the coin, an article published slightly more than a year ago in the New York Times reported that in Tangerang, Indonesia, Shariah law was the governing law by which the community functioned. However, what was noted was an increasing religiosity and not radicalism. The observation of Shariah law was attributed to finding hope and solace in religion for the town of Tangerang, which was hardest, hit by the economic downturn in 1997 and democracy did not seem to yield any promising fruit.
Thus, contrary to much publicized western media that Islamic teachings is responsible for breeding radicalism and terrorist acts, this report offers that there is beauty in the Islamic faith which draws devotees to practice a private faith in Allah (God).
Militant Islam as practiced by radical groups such as the JI is featured by ‘a devotion to the sacred law, a rejection of Western influences and a turning of faith into ideology’(the idea of universal brotherhood. 1928.). However, it seems that these groups have churned out heinous crimes not because of what Islam teaches, but rather, by the misinterpretation of the practice of ‘Jihad’ to feed their underlying agendas and greed for power. The Islamists were turning Islam from a faith entity to a ‘political construct.’ (Ie: the leaders Adopting Islamic ways and reasoning, to garner discipleship from fellow Muslims, but inherently not a Muslim by faith). In other words, they can be said to be hypocrites, which mar the otherwise good name of Islam as a faith.'
So for the sake of my essay and not offending anyone, i obviously said that Islam is a peaceful religion. and Scholars etc are making efforts for 'counter ideology work' (prevent radicalism breeding in the minds/hearts of Islam believers).
But after reading the book.. this prof guy blatantly admits to the fact that the Quran does indeed teach to 'declare war on all infidels' and if devotees die in battle, they will never lose, because 'one cannot be wrong fighting for the faith' and ' their reward is in Paradise'. So these radical people really embrace what they are being taught! of course politics comes into play and entangles the situation but otherwise, they are truly practicing their religion! And this is coming from the professor who 'deeply understood the Islam religion'. He went on the Hajj and all when he was a Muslim himself!
So is the western media still an evil? or really just reporting the truth?
(ok la but if you look at the media on it's own. it is one big headache on it's own too..)
Sigh. everything is just complicated!
And so, the enmity between the Muslims and the Jews is a long drawn one (ie: Palestinian/Israel conflict over land. muslims are really angry cos they claim israel is SITTING on land which rightly belongs to Islam. no question. Hence, they will never allow to give it up)..and so the battle will never end until (both christians and muslims believe) judgement day. And Christ (and M's believe Allah) shall come again.
Most of us with little understanding try and simply brush the surface and believe tt the Quran and Bible teach the SAME lesson where same bible characters are mentioned, but that is not true! and the Allah being referred to in the Quran is not the same God we worship, although the similarities might make us think so in general.
to put it very badly, muhammad was just plagiarising off bible stuff to try and convince the jews he was evangelising to at that time, to embrace Islam as a religion.(he moved from mecca to medina and tried to evangelise Islam) and then of cos, they defend their faith and muhammad got angry so he started writing negative things abt them. (initially at first, he did write nice things abt jews saying they were allah's chosen too.(tt's where the nice stuff abt islam is being taken from when we hear reports of islam being a peaceful religion).
Oh, and chris, Muhammad was born 600 years after Jesus Christ.
So in the book (pardon it's bias) it says that the stuff Muhammad wrote were not revelations from a true god, cos certain accounts have discrepancies and errors. ie: the Ishmael and Isaac story, such as geographical travels. For example, As mecca is the holy land for Islam, they say Ishmael settled there after being driven out of Canaan. BUT the distance is super damn long to get there by foot and will take forever to travel. the bible's account is that after being driven out of Canaan, they went to Sinai Desert, which is more accessible by foot and more realistic.
another discrepancy is that according to the Quran, Ishmael was driven away with Hagar his mother when he was an infant (anything below two years) as he had to be nursed by his mother. But according to the biblical account, Ishmael was driven out when he was 16 and isaac was just being weaned.
and uhm regarding the sacrificing story, as recorded in the Quran, the child is unamed but the Muslims take it to mean Ishmael. however, in the biblical account, it is clear and stated the boy was clearly Isaac cos it is written.
And the muslims claim the jews took out original words from the scriptures and changed it. But there's no such evidence archaeologically. (like how there's no evidence Iraq has WMD. hurhur).
But anyway, in short , the concluding words were sth like.. with so much misalignment of story accounts between the bible and Quran, the question is not 'how close are they' but rather outrightly, one must be true and the other not.
because most accounts with biblical stuff in the Quran are hazy and doesn't really tally and if muslims were to really think about it, it would confuse them a lot. When some islamic scholars are questioned, they don't know how to answer and brush things off as 'will of allah'.
yea i can understand that, and there's really a lot of similar close lines of what christianity and what islam teaches but it's NOT NOT the same.
AND as it is written, God is not a God of confusion! (1 corinthians 14:33 33For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.)
i really LOVE this verse. i smile when i remember it each time (:
In short, you know, the religion and the radicalized people.. are just yet another evidence of Satan's lies. It is not their fault they are behaving like that. they are called to do it! they are practicing their faith. and the blindness and hatred they have for christians and jews they are experiencing.. is put into their hearts by that evil one.
It is so clear, any battle, ultimately shows signs that it is one between the living God and the prince of this World. (so that's why it is interesting to know international affairs. altho i STILL dunno enough. wonder if i'll ever get there..)
i would love to be more specific and clear.
But do continue to pray for me as i work on being concise and clear in my essays in time for my exams! back to studying..
on monday, i woke up at 11 sth and then i had lunch with my mum opposite. i ate meehoonkuey (mhk) and she ate chicken feet noodles. and i think it is easier to limit the carboh intake when eating mhk than say u-mian cos you can count the pieces and just not eat everything. and so, that was what i did.
then i travelled all the way to sengkang again. and then all the way back and one whole afternoon is gone like tt. and when i reached home i was famished cos i think i didn't eat 'enough pieces of flour' in the end. -hehs-. my mum cooked dinner so we had pasta, which is really nice to chew and feel it solid and wholesome in the tummy.
i forgot what i did at night. idling the time away =/ but i did start on reading this book i borrowed from galvin on sunday and its all about Islam and why the conflict with the jews. and it has religious and historical background. (i'm thinking COM 419 hehe)
and yes chris, after i put down the phone with you and continued reading, i read the part which says that muslims believe that if they were to die as a martyr, because of jihad (holy war/ fighting for the faith) they will get 70 virgins and can drink all the alcohol they want as a reward!! gosh. guys. men. but what about female jihadists? make friends with the 70 virgins and play catching?
So that was monday.
tuesday, today i went over to nus and studied the afternoon with swee and two of her nice uni friends. (hehe im building up contacts from nus side too! should i really be a journalist one day!) one is smart and cool, the other just.. 'really talks a lot'. sheesh i didn't realise until D, swee and i went for a toilet break and they started commenting on how much he talks. and then i realised.. haha. i was so taken in by what he was saying mah.. talking abt ntu's hall system and all (which was interesting then, but on hindsight u ask yourself.. 'why he talking all this when we should be doing other important things') hehe tt's why i love swee for being so level headed and focused and knowing when to filter out things, and to know what's impt and what's not.
well and i started to plough through my 401 notes. the module has been so unstructured that we don't really know what to do or study. but shall just go through with this. one week to paper! today covered what is a company, PR, several corporate structures.. simple stuff like tt..
should start cinema readings again soon.. revise into hollywood, blockbuster and then world cinema trends.
on the mrt ride to lavender for dance rehearsal, i continued reading the islam book thinking 'COM419!'.. and yea, have gained more insights. so i should finish it soon.
so that's all tt's been done today.
tomorrow is already wednesday!
i went to tell my sis all i'd been learning from the book and she recommended her 'world politics 1945-2000' book to me, by a Peter Calvocoressi! she said she had the book cos of 'A' level History. yea i realise studying history is more useful than geog. because i've not used any geog knowledge to apply in class.. but im sure history students would understand better world conflicts and why they happened etc..
sheeesh. this girl is forever just coming up with smart stuff or owning smart material. it never ends ah! i better get out all the smart stuff and treasures she still has before May next year (boohoo.)
and might i add.. my sister is really a contact i must keep for v long cos she holds the links to all those EXTRA smart people i'll never dream of knowing ever in my lifetime, unless i SUDDENLY become somewhere near smart. so in terms of contact list, sumtimes i feel quite 'safe'.. tt altho my current journ frens, coming from top JC's have their direct smart friends..
i also have my one smart sister, with all those smart friends from the top JC too. hehe. hehe. so i kinda know 'what's happening in their world and what's it like 'to be on top'. lol! and the bonus is.. these friends of hers are more senior than my journ friend's friends who are our age.
hi i saw that one of your blog post has the lyrics"empower me like a rushing river flowing to the sea". i really want that song. so i was wondering that if you do have can u send it to me through an attachment to janicechowwx@hotmail.com? thanks alot.
